


It's A Wonderful Cat's Life

by problematicfave



Series: Catlad!Damian AU [1]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Catlad!Damian, F/M, Gen, Selina refers to Damian as kitten, motherly selina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematicfave/pseuds/problematicfave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Talia sends Damian to live with Selina Kyle instead of his father and thus he becomes Catlad rather then Robin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's A Wonderful Cat's Life

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by maplejustice.tumblr.com/ Catlad!Damian headcanons

Damian hadn’t known exactly what he was expecting when his mother had sent him to live with Catwoman, but he knew that wearing skintight leather and lurking on dank rooftops certainly hadn’t been it. He didn’t hate it though, well okay he kind of hated the leather, but in all honesty his time with Selina so far had been quite thrilling; he might even go so far as to call it fun.

Crouching on a rooftop in the rain on the other hand, that wasn’t fun at all and he didn’t understand just why they were doing it. Weren’t cats supposed to hate water?

“Are you ever going to explain the reason we’re wasting our time in such an inane manner?” His grumbled question was met with a sly smile from Catwoman,

“Oh, I just thought it would be fun to hang out in the rain.” She teased, laughing at the look of consternation on Damian’s face, “I’m only joking kitten, I wouldn’t do that to you.” Reaching out an arm and wrapping it around his shoulders, she used the other to point down at the street below them. “You see that warehouse down there?” 

Damian’s gaze turned in the direction she was pointing, the warehouse in question didn’t seem to have anything special about it at first glance, however, as he watched he noticed the movement of silhouettes through the windows. There was someone, multiple someones, inside; and if he wasn’t mistaken they were armed.

“What’s in there?” He asked, turning to look at Selina with a curious expression; thus far they’d only ever hit people’s homes and a museum or two, no place with heavily armed guards like this. Selina tapped her lips thoughtfully,

“Lots of things, if my information is correct, and it should be. Apparently a smuggling ring’s been using the place to store goods.” She moved her hand to ruffle Damian’s hair affectionately, “Get your hood up kitten, we’re going shopping.” Damian grumbled slightly as he pulled the cat-eared hood up over his head and the accompanying goggles down over his eyes, he wasn’t exactly sold on the whole dressing up like a cat thing yet.

“I hardly think shopping is the correct term to use, that implies that there will be some sort of payment involved in exchange for goods.” he muttered, leaping after Selina as made her way to the warehouse’s roof. He hadn’t intended for her to hear him but judging by her laughter she had,

“Oh they’ll be getting payment, or well, they’ll be paying. Close enough.” It took Damian a moment to puzzle out the meaning behind her response,

“We’ll be engaging them?” He questioned, eyes widening in surprise. Since coming to Gotham the closest he’d come to engaging in combat was the occasional spar with Selina, she’d claimed that fighting drew far too much attention, something that as thieves they’d want to avoid. The smugglers must have done something to really piss her off if they were going fight them.

Selina gave a hum of acknowledgement as she worked to loosen a rooftop vent,

“Don’t get used to it kitten, it won’t happen often. These guys need to go though.” Damian frowned, he had no problem with fighting people or even killing them, it had been part of his upbringing after all; however he found himself curious as to the reasons behind Selina’s actions.

“Why?” Having successfully removed the grill from the vent, Selina turned to look at look at him, her lips pursed in consideration. 

“They’re involved in more than just smuggling.” She finally told him, “Human trafficking to be precise.” Damian tilted his head to the side, staring at her in puzzlement, he didn’t understand what that had to do with why they were taking them down; they didn’t gain anything from it, what was the point?

“So? What’s in it for us?” He didn’t understand the pitying look Selina gave him,

“Sometimes kitten, you just do things because they’re right, not because you get anything out of it.” It didn’t really make sense to him, but Selina was already climbing into the vent so he shoved it to the back of his mind and followed her instead.

The vent was surprisingly large inside, not enough so that you could stand up or anything, but there was enough room that there was no need to worry about getting stuck; it was something he’d noticed was apparently rather commonplace in Gotham, not that he was complaining or anything.

“So what exactly is the plan? We do have one, right?” Damian asked, his voice barely above a whisper; the last thing they wanted was for some thug to hear them and shoot up the vent.

“A plan? What do you have against winging it? Hey, don’t give me that look, of course I have a plan.” Damian wasn’t sure how she’d known what expression he’d been making, sometimes he wondered if she secretly had eyes in the back of her head, but it was good to know that she actually did have a plan. 

“Well what it is?” Selina didn’t reply for a moment, her focus on loosening a second grate so they could exit the vent, once she’d finished she turned her head to look at Damian.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do: we take down the guards without alerting them to our presence, grab what loot we want, leave a nice little tip for the police and then get home in time for breakfast. Which reminds me, I think we should have waffles, do you like waffles?” Damian wasn’t actually sure what waffles were, some kind of food probably, but since he wasn’t planning to grace her with an answer it didn’t really matter.

“Can we just get on with it?” His mentor sighed,

“Patience really isn’t your forte, is it?” Still despite her obvious exasperation she didn’t make him wait any longer and slipped out of the vent, silently landing on the floor with grace befitting her namesake. Damian dropped down after her, his landing just as silent but not quite as graceful as hers, and darted behind a nearby stack of crates.

Peeking around the corner he quickly counted the guards before holding up several fingers for Selina to see, there were only six guards, taking them down would be easy. Selina looked thoughtful for a moment before pointing to him and holding up three fingers, she then pointed to herself and held up three fingers again; he would take three of them and she’d take the other three.

Damian nodded in agreement before slipping into the shadows to seek out his targets; the first guard was incredibly easy to find as he’d seemingly decided to shirk his duties in favor of a smoke break. The man hadn’t even looked up when the boxes he was leaning against creaked slightly under Damian’s weight, it had been all too simple to get him in a choke hold and knock him unconscious.

Dragging the man’s body into the shadows where it wouldn’t be seen, he smirked, this was turning out to be even easier than he’d expected; common thugs were no match for someone who’d been trained by the League of Assassins, if he’d wanted to he could have taken them all on by himself.

The second guard proved to be just as easy as the first, he didn’t even have time to blink before Damian’s boot connected with his face, hard enough to leave a mark. 

“Sweet dreams” the boy quipped, catching the man before he hit the floor, it would have been easier to just let him fall probably but he couldn’t risk the noise it might make. Moving him proved to be slightly more difficult than with the first guard, apparently nobody had ever taught him the phrase ‘less is more’ at least not when it came to eating.

Eventually he got the man tucked between a couple of crates, though judging from the angle he was at the guy would have a stiff neck when he woke up, he should have thought of that before he became a thug though. Now there was just one guard left for him to deal with, then he could regroup with Selina and finish off the heist. 

Unfortunately for him, the good luck he’d thus far been graced with that night had decided to run out; he was sneaking up on the final guard when a precariously balanced box chose that moment to fall. 

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he watched the box topple to the ground, the glass figurines held within crashing loudly on the floor and sending pieces flying everywhere. One of the shards hit his cheek, leaving a bloody scratch but his attention was elsewhere so he hardly even noticed; the guard he’d been stalking had turned at the sound and caught sight of him.

“What! Who's this now?” The man’s voice echoed throughout the warehouse, no doubt alerting everybody therein to the presence of intruders. Damian could only hope that Selina had finished taking out her targets, otherwise they might be in for a spot of trouble. He’d worry about that in a bit however, right now he needed to deal with this oaf; it shouldn’t be too hard though, even without the element of surprise.

“Yer just a kid, what are you doing here?” A sneer was fixed on the thugs face as he pointed the gun at Damian, he obviously didn’t see the boy as much of threat. “You think yer Robin or something?” Damian bristled slightly at the comparison, he was no spandex wearing sissy, but the man seemed to find the idea hilarious. “How about I give you a hand, you can be the second Robin, the dead one.”

Damian was moving before the gun had even been fired, he slammed shoulder first into the man’s stomach, resulting in them both falling to the ground. Damian was quick to get back on his feet and climb on the man’s chest, wrapping his hands tightly around his neck and squeezing. The guard struggled, trying to pry the boy off him, but Damian was strong for his age and soon the struggles ceased. 

Climbing off the man, he glanced around; no other guards had shown up so Selina must have been successful with her part of the endeavor, now they just need to regroup and...suddenly there was a loud noise and pain flared up in Damian’s side. Automatically he clutched a hand to it, eyes widening in surprise when that hand came back wet, had he…been shot?

Once again he glanced around, he hadn’t seen anyone before but...there! Crouching in the shadows was another guard, one he hadn’t seen earlier when he’d counted them; damn it! If he’d missed one who knew how many others there might be. Selina probably wouldn’t be happy with him, but it looked like some interrogation would be in order. 

He dashed towards the man, catching him off guard; he must have been expecting that Damian would run however the boy had never been the type to run from a fight, even if he was injured. The few seconds it earned him were enough that he quickly got the upper hand in the fight, it didn’t last long however. The guard was quite a bit more skilled than the others had been and having been trained to kill his enemies rather then disable them, Damian’s ability when it came to non lethal fighting was somewhat lacking.

Killing the man he could easily do, but that would end up getting him in trouble with Selina and keep him from getting any information about the number of guards. He’d have to resolve this without resorting to killing, it would take longer of course but he’d succeed nonetheless, Al Ghul’s always did.

Filled with determination, he rammed his fist into the man’s jaw, grinning at the satisfying crack it made. 

“How does it feel to be getting your ass kicked by a kid?” he taunted, leaping backwards as the man swung a knife at him. Unfortunately, the wound in Damian’s side had continued to bleed all this time, resulting in the formation of a small puddle of blood on the floor; as Damian jumped backwards his foot landed in it and he slipped.

This was all the opening that his opponent needed, he lunged forward, about to slit Damian’s throat when a staff smacked into the back of his head and he slumped down unconscious. 

For a moment Damian could only blink in surprise, unsure what had just happened, but then pushed the man off him and there was a hand reached out to help him up.

“Are you okay kid?” The voice and face of the teen in front of him were unfamiliar, but it only took one look at his outfit to identify him, Robin. 

“TT, I’m fine.” He growled, pushing aside the offered hand and getting up on his own, saved by a tights wearing vigilante, could things get any lower. “I had everything under control, there was no need for you to interfere.”

“Yeah, sure you did, it really looked like things were under control.” A tinge of annoyance was plain to hear in Robin’s voice but Damian didn’t care about how he felt, he was too busy being angry at himself; he was an Al Ghul, he should need to be saved or helped by anyone!

“Don’t you have some criminal to be bugging or something?” He snarled, feeling an incredible urge to smack the vigilante in the face. Robin raised an eyebrow and leaned on his staff,

“Pretty sure that’s what I’m doing right now.” Any other day Damian might have let that jab slide, after all he was technically a criminal, but not today; today he was tired, frustrated and in pain, his tolerance level was rather low.

 

“I’ll show you criminal!” He growled, lunging forward to attack; he hadn’t even gotten one step though when someone grabbed him by the collar and he was lifted off the ground. 

“Don’t.” A gruff voice cautioned, it was one he’d never heard before but there was only one person it could belong to, Batman. Perhaps he should have intimidated by the fact that he was currently being dangled a few feet above the ground by Batman, but he’d grown up with Ra’s Al Ghul as a grandfather, it took more then that to intimidate him.

“Put me down this instance batbrain!” The Bat ignored his demand, much to his annoyance, Robin however seemed very amused by it if the smirk on his face was any indication. 

“What’s a kid doing here anyway?” Robin questioned; Damian shrugged, his face contorting into a sneer

“I don’t know, what are you doing here?” The smirk fell from Robin’s face and he opened his mouth to retort when a female voice interrupted,

“You know, if you wanted to manhandle a cat you could have just asked me.” Selina sauntered into view, a smile playing on her lips at the sight of the vigilantes. Making her way to Batman’s side, she loosen his fingers from Damian’s collar and set the boy on the ground; now that he was finally free Damian quickly moved to stand behind Selina, where the Bat couldn’t reach him.

“What are you doing here Selina?” Batman growled, the scowl on his face clearly showing his displeasure at Catwoman’s presence; then again maybe he just looked like that all the time.

Stepping closer to him, Selina slowly ran a finger down the Bat’s jaw,

“Oh I just thought I should probably come rescue my kitten from the big bad bat.” 

“So now you’re teaching little kids to steal? I thought you were better than that.” Damian bristled at being referred to as a little kid, he was eleven thank you very much, he hardly classified as a little kid. Selina shrugged nonchalantly,

“What can I say, I’m a bad girl.” Her voice was practically a purr and Damian found himself sharing a disgusted look with Robin at the blatant flirting,

“Are they always like this?” He mouthed at the other boy, while doing his best to tune out the adults conversation. The teen shrugged before nodding his head; great, just great. 

“They’ll probably be at it a while.” He whispered, before moving to sit on a crate and patting the spot next to him, “You might as well sit down.”

Damian hesitated for a moment, he didn’t really want to go sit by the other boy, but he had no desire to stand around and listen to their mentors flirt either. In the end he chose the lesser of two evils and walked towards Robin, while mentally making a note to start carrying a water bottle to spray Selina with at times like this.

In the wake of Batman’s arrival he’d temporarily forgotten about his wound, but as he took a seat next the movement pulled at the dried blood that was now coating it and he could help but let out a pained hiss. He quickly bit his lip in an attempt to muffle it, but it was too late, Robin had heard.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Damian lied, but it didn’t matter because Robin had caught sight of the blood,

“You’re hurt! Batman, the kid’s injured.” Damian gritted his teeth as Batman and Selina turned to look at him in alarm,

“I’m fine.” He repeated, batting at Selina’s hand as she knelt beside him and tried to get a look at the injury; he’d gotten worse while training, he didn’t need to be fussed over. Selina just grabbed his wrist,

“I’ll be the judge of that.” She gingerly poked at the wound, gaining a pained hiss from Damian for her efforts. “What happened?”

Damian hung his head slightly, both out of shame for getting hurt and embarrassment about Selina’s fussing,

“I got shot.” He murmured, barely loud enough for her to hear

“Who did it?” Her voice had turned ice cold and was tinged with anger, though Damian wasn’t sure if it was directed at him or whoever had hurt him; he figured it was probably him though, that’s what he was used to happening.

He glanced over at the guard who’d shot him, he was still lying on the ground unconscious from when Robin knocked him out; Selina followed his gaze, her eyes narrowing as she took in the man.

“Selina, don’t.” The woman glanced up at Batman’s warning tone, a frown forming on her face

“I’m not going to hurt him...much.” Batman placed a gentle hand on her shoulder,

“You’re not going to hurt him at all, the police will take care of him. You just get…” He paused, not knowing Damian’s name. “...the boy home and taken care of.” Selina a pursed her lips before letting out a long sigh,

“Very well.” She turned back to Damian, “You okay to walk kitten?”

Damian nodded, slowly getting up from his seat; his side hurt like hell but he could walk and wasn’t about to drop dead or anything. Selina looked back at the guard one more time,

“I’m walking away for now” She informed Batman, “But if ever come across that guy and you’re not there to stop me, I make no guarantees. Understand?” Batman frowned, clearly unhappy with her pronouncement, but finally he nodded,

“Understood.”

“Good, we’ll be off then I guess.” She placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder before turning one last time to wink at the vigilante, “Feel free to drop by later if you still want to manhandle a cat.”


End file.
